The Wallet

Walking home from the train station last week, I found a wallet. It contained ID, a Social Security card, an ATM card, some credit cards and a bank debit card. And it had no money in it. I pocketed it and decided to try to return it. And when I got home, I placed the wallet in an envelope and addressed it to the address found on the person’s ID.
Then I stopped for long moment. I began to think, “Hmm, what if this guy lost this wallet and it had money in it? And now he’s going to get it back from someone Lies, (who is honestly only trying to spare them of the extra worry and added misery of getting new credit cards, ID, etc). Is he going to assume that I took his money, but that I didn’t want to be a total dick, so I returned the ID, credit cards and Social Security card?” I tried to imagine what I would do had I found the wallet with money in it. Ten years ago, I would’ve pocketed the cash, bought pizza for all my roommates Ch-ch-ch-Chia! and thrown the wallet down the sewer. Five years ago, I would’ve pocketed the cash, and returned the wallet anonymously (probably by finding the person’s house and dropping it in the mailbox or giving it to the police). But now, at an ethically utilitarian point in my life (and not in a boastful sorta way so don’t read it that way), I was proud to note that I would’ve returned the wallet full bore, money included, with no strings attached. The rationale for this is simple: I’ve come to realize that I should treat people the way I would want to be treated, or that I should treat people even better than the way I would want to be treated. And the reason I’ve come to act this way is karma (the force Plate generated by a person’s actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person’s next existence).
No, I’m not getting all religious, so relax. In laymen’s terms, karma cheap nba jerseys means that any dick moves you make in life will come back to you and make your own life suffer. And I’ve witnessed it physically manifest itself way too many times for it to just be a crazy Hindu/Buddhist idea.
So I decided to return the wallet, regardless of the consequences. And the process was an enduring one. There I was standing above a 3×5 envelope debating how to address it, whether or not I should put a return address and what type of note I should write. Had I not included a return address, the person would definitely assume that the person anonymously returning the wallet had stolen money from them. But Winded if I included the return address, and the person did in fact have money stolen out of the wallet, the person could then locate me and try to come beat the living shit and accompanying lost money out of me. So I stuck, then unstuck and then re-stuck a return address sticker on the envelope. I decided that if the person did in fact come looking for me, that I could reasonably tell them the circumstances under which I found the wallet and that all would work itself out. Fingers crossed.
I then debated over the casual note attached within side the envelope, which finally ended up reading “Hi, I found this on the way home from the train station near the front of my house. It has some important stuff in it, so I wholesale nfl jerseys wholesale mlb jerseys figured you might appreciate getting it back. Take care, Brian” (Not too official but not too casual. Explanatory without sounding criminal, yet abstract enough to not say “Don’t blame me. There wasn’t any money in it when I found it,” which actually would’ve made me sound more guilty of stealing money that wasn’t there in the first place). $1.06 later, it was off in the mail one town over to someone I was hoping would not become vindictive towards me.
Saturday morning arrived. I was supposed to be getting dressed for a wedding when Sub I heard a knock on the front door. There I stood in a sweater vest with dress shirt, Tasche tie and boxer shorts, opening the door half-expecting it to be one 10 of my friends, when a tall, African-American man says in a deep voice, “Is Brian there?”
“Yeah, I’m him,” I say. And cheap nfl jerseys the man turns to the side, and reaches into his pocket. I automatically assume it’s the wallet guy coming to beat me up for stealing from him, when he hands me a bottle of Courvoisier, a French cognac first made popular wholesale jerseys by Napoleon, followed cheap nfl jerseys then by Ice Cube and Snoop Dogg. He begins to walk away from the porch and says, “That’s for the wallet man.”
I stop Willa him and say, “I can’t take de this,” though I am visibly shaken by the encounter, once again, half-expecting him to pound me into something resembling a wet prune on the front porch of the house.
He asks, “Why?”
And I replied, “Well, I would hope to get the same treatment had my wallet been stolen. It’s no big deal really.” In retrospect, I should’ve said something about Ice Cube having a hissy fit had he discovered that I (the whitest of white men) was drinking Courvoisier, but in times of distress, my humor button doesn’t function too well. So I forced the bottle back onto him and pointed him to where I approximately found the wallet.
He remarked that it was proximate to his friend’s house down the street, but not sure how it traveled up the street. And I wanted to speculate that it was probably neighborhood kids acting how I would’ve ten years ago, cheap jerseys but I let it rest and bid him farewell. He drove away and I breathed deep, relaxing over how easy the altercation had transpired.
I was too busy worrying over needless details, forgetting the fact that not all Rush people automatically think the worst possible thoughts about other humans. Some of us can still be thankful for benevolently avoiding lines at the DMV, not having to cancel credit cards and not having to register for new Social Security cards, even if they do think that honest people wishing to avoid karmic backlash drink French cognac. I mean, honestly, aside from gangsta rappers, who drinks that shit anymore?

Ch-ch-ch-Chia!

What happened America? After four years of vast politicization by almost every strata of wholesale NFL jerseys American society, review we’re right back where we started, only now, the victor was (apparently) rightfully elected.
After four years of political blow back, lies told by the president unto an unknowing public plus innocent deaths caused by an wholesale mlb jerseys unnecessary war, we’re now worse off than we were wholesale mlb jerseys before George W. Bush stole the 2000 elections.
I’d like to think that Americans Front as a whole aren’t stupid, but it’s taking a lot of restraint to not post the cheap nfl jerseys “Fuck All Bush-loving Dumb Fuck Americans!” sign in my front yard. The truth is cheap NFL jerseys (I assume at least) not that Americans are dumb, but that the undecided and the actual decided Bush-voters got sucked into an ingenious marketing scheme. They were told by the mass media that they needed something, given erroneous facts of why they needed it (including terrorist scare tactics) and then told that it would save them money and possibly get them into Heaven in the long run.
Why do you think at least 1 in 10 people reading this has bought someone a Chia-Pet for Christmas? Because of marketing! We’ve been duped into believing we need to be benevolent towards everyone we know at Christmas. We’re then marketed ridiculous crap on television to fulfill such a need and thrust into giant pits of concentrated consumer market research to purchase said ridiculous crap. I know I’ve done it on more than one occasion.
The thing is, the Chia-Pet recipients never seemed better off after the fact. Wizard I’ve felt the feigned thankfulness towards me. And I’m pretty sure that the recipient wondered what the hell they were supposed to do now, before throwing the piece of junk Chia-Pet out of sight and into the closet; which is exactly Streamline what I presume most people that voted for Bush are now doing, putting their 6-month political brigades in the closet and wondering what the hell they’re supposed to do now…..
Bush voters fell prey to good marketing; a wholesale NFL jerseys nice pre-packaged product that promises a Gold better life for less money with unadulterated protection from all evil in the world, which off the cusp, does sound pretty damn good. The PR firms behind Bush did an extravagant job of pushing any poor product reviews to the wayside and stupefying any legitimate ant-Bush discourse, before waging an all-out “Repeat something often enough and people will start to believe it” war against the everyday average minds of American society. From a psychological point of view, it’s a pretty smart tactic to use to sell tacos and soda and candy and bikes and skateboards. From a ?wiadomo?ci political point of view though, it’s outright terrifying. Last time I checked, democracy and psychological manipulation were not supposed to be partners in crime.
Hate is a strong word; one that takes enduring energy to burn bright. Forgiveness is wholesale jerseys much more efficient. Therefore, I find it easier to forgive the approximate one-half of this country which believes that the morals outlined in the bible are more important than taking steps to end the war in Iraq, or insuring that every person in America receives healthcare, or simply just being told the truth. I forgive you bible belt; it’s what the good book would want anyway. And I forgive you North Dakota, though, despite what George Bush would have you believe, you are not the focus of the terrorists.
I don’t hate Eclectic 1/2 the country because of their democratic opinions, but I AM bitter. I’m bitter that Bush’s 1/2 of America is content to let the current state of affairs in the U.S. erroneously harm our own economy, wage needless wars and destroy the environment, among other things, (and I don’t see that bitterness waning anytime soon). Or maybe I’m bitter because 1/2 of America doesn’t want to change; wholesale MLB jerseys they just want their nice animal figurines complete with live herbs that simulate the fur or hair of the particular animal on their window sill, without worry or concern at least til another one comes along next Christmas….. Well, they got what they wished for; more useless crap. Ch-ch-ch-chia!

POSTSCRIPT: Bush made book authors out of more anti-Bush supporters than any other president in presidential history. There are volumes upon volumes upon more volumes of anti-Bush literature. Most of it is factual and Winded not just subjective rants against Bush’s character, though there are more than a few of those. The reason I bring up this point is that I believe that if more people would have taken the time to search out and read wholesale NFL jerseys more non-mass media based accounts of the Bush presidency, that we might have actually made a bigger difference yesterday and effected the change we all so ardently hoped for, well, at least the change 48% of us hoped for…..

Long Winded Name

PRAGMATIC APPROACHES TO HOLIDAYS IN ADULTHOOD (The Ironic Manifestation of the 7 Deadly But Often Celebrated Sins)

New Year’s Eve: An unadulterated excuse to get drunk, make out with your neighbor and praise yourself for making it through another holiday season intact. One last party for the year before everyone goes back to being boring, work-minded and robotic til at was least the middle of March. (Read as Gluttony, along with Lust, Anger, Greed, Sloth, Envy and Pride, depending on what you’re drinking and how it affects you.)

Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday: January’s own private fuck to remind you that, even though деликатесов. you have a 3-day weekend, you still can’t do anything fun cause it’s too damn cold to go outside to actually do anything worthwhile. Why else would a warm state like Arizona not want to celebrate this holiday? (Read as Sloth, cause even though the weather sucks, you do still get a day off of work.)

Groundhog Day: Absolutely no provisional value in regards to sinning, unless you happen to meet someone, tell them that you rule, proceed to eat too much food and get drunk with them and then engage in a casual one-night-stand, all coincidentally on Groundhog Day. (Which you would then read as Pride, Gluttony, and Lust.)

Valentine’s Day: The only day of the year in which Lust is encouraged under the guise of ‘Love.’ Loving someone does not inherently mean that you desire to see this person cheap mlb jerseys in red satin lingerie, but Lust sure does. (Read as Lust, and if lingerie is purchased but the assumed following sex is not fulfilled, read as Anger.)

President’s Day: What once used to be separate holidays for past presidents such as Washington and Lincoln, has now been conveniently consolidated into one for the sake of less time away from work. (Read as Anger, because this consolidation act, which was designed to simplify the yearly calendar of holidays, isn’t fair to anyone that lost the extra day off.)

St. Patrick’s Day: You made it through the winter. Drink too much beer and tell everyone that you’re Irish because one of your great-grandparents may have visited there once. (Read as Envy if you’re not actually Irish, Gluttony for the excess drink and Anger after the excess drink kicks in.)

Easter: Since Easter always falls on a Sunday, there is no value in it as an instrument of work avoidance. (For the kids, we’ll call it Gluttony, since they’re encouraged to engorge on excess candy and hard-boiled eggs, which makes perfect sense by the way….)

Memorial Day: The unofficial beginning of Summer, neatly packed in a 3-day weekend. Since it’s not overly celebratory and not ritualistic, Memorial Day may in fact be the most innocent holiday of the year. Eat food, drink beer and possibly engage in sexual activity: the sin is up to the sinner. (Read as Not Much Really, which is not a deadly sin but I’m out of ammo against Memorial Day as I have spent the last two Memorial Days cleaning world! out my basement, and the most sinful result of such behavior has only been the death of a few random spiders.)

Fourth of July: A lazy sometimes mid-week holiday in the height of summer, with the chance to eat more, drink more and be lazy. (Read as the Holiday Standard of Sloth and Gluttony, but add Pride as everyone and their mother blows themselves up while praising the birth of a nation.)

Columbus Day: Another 3-day weekend for some guy that supposedly discovered America. No significant meaning in the present day and age, but oh what a glorious ride to take down Nostalgia Lane’s path of Greed. The chance to celebrate stolen land, wealth and resources from the indigenous peoples of the Americas, along with their subsequent extermination on behalf of various European-borne diseases. (Read as Greed, on behalf of Christopher Columbus and any other explorer that came along and enslaved Native populations in the pursuit of material riches. And they even did this in the name of Christianity! Isn’t Jesus grand!)

Halloween: An excuse for women to wear thigh-high stockings and/or dress like hookers, and the chance for men to dress up as ugly half-ass women. (Read as Lust, and if drinking or partying is involved, add gluttony as well.)

Election Day: 15 minutes away from work with a substantiated excuse. (Read as Sloth.)

Thanksgiving: Aside from the wholesale jerseys bonus 4-day weekend, Thanksgiving is one of two occasions throughout the year in which gluttony is encouraged (Christmas being the other). Though I don’t know if any would be gluttons in Fat America need the added holiday encouragement. Thanksgiving is also the first post-summer test of the year to decide whether or not your family is still crazy, which wholesale jerseys China never changes by the way. (Read as Gluttony, and after the family is added, heaping doses of Anger.)

Christmas: It really depends on the day Christmas falls on to decide what meaning Christmas takes each year. If it’s A a Tuesday or Wednesday, you’re fucked, cause there’s no way you’re going to get that day off from work plus cheap jerseys the rest of the week. And if it’s on a Saturday or Sunday, you’re even more fucked, cause you won’t even have the chance to get off any weekday work days. Ideally, Thursday is the best day for Christmas to fall on, as it allows the cheap jerseys celebrator access to the longest weekend within reason for middle management to grapple with. (Read as Greed, because we all know that the only thing Christmas after the age of 13 means is days off from actually doing anything work related. Actually, after the family is added, read as Anger as well.)

7 DEADLY SIN KEY

Pride is excessive belief in one’s own abilities, that interferes wholesale nfl jerseys with the individual’s recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

Envy is the desire for others’ Bem-Vindos! traits, status, abilities, or situation.

Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.

Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.

Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for cheap mlb jerseys fury. It is also known as Wrath.

Greed is the desire for material Courtois wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.

Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.