The Top 5 Causes of Noise Pollution In My Neighborhood

1. The taxi stand next door. They not only noise pollute; they horrendously pollute the air with cars that haven’t passed state inspection, can barely make it down the road and often come back to the garage via tow truck. If you’re in the market for a new apartment, I can tell you that I’ve learned the hard way to never live next to a taxi stand, an auto mechanic or the bane of 7:00 AM known as the air impact wrench.

2. People not wanting to use the door bell in our building, instead insisting on standing on the sidewalk out front and yelling upwards at the person they’re trying to reach. “Rosa!!!! Ignacio!!!!” (Yes, there’s a person named Ignacio that lives in our building, or who was at least here for a while…)

3. Ice-cream trucks. Randomly throughout the day, I’ll catch myself whistling the tune of the ice cream truck and kick myself for falling victim to his soothing shrill.

4. This one senior citizen bus that always comes down our street between 3:15 and 4:15 in the afternoon, laying on the horn for anything that might cross its path. (On a sidenote, I’ve noticed a paradox regarding the car horn. When it’s me beeping the horn, I think it’s awesome. But when it’s directed at myself or something else within earshot of me, I hate the damn thing.)

5. Fire engines. I swear this town has more 911 calls per capita than anywhere else in the world. Though I will say this. Everyone double parks in this town. Everyone. And coincidentally, the one and only time I actually witnessed the fire department extinguish an actual fire was because some dumbass had double-parked his mini-van, left it running, and come back only to find his family running out of said mini-van on fire. Unfortunately, they left the scene in a taxi from number 1 in my list…

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