Mind You: The Story of The Television And The Anti-Theft Device

Just got back from Dallas. Both of us weren’t feeling too good on the ride home from the airport, finally succumbing to a mixture of head colds and fatigue after a few weeks of overdoing it in every capacity of life. Knowing that there was gonna be a lot of downtime in the coming week, and that there was no TV in the bedroom to watch, we decided to stop at Target on the way back from the airport and purchase an additional TV for the house.

We found a TV/DVD combo for a little over $100. I lugged it from the back of the store up front, paid for it and made our way home. The packaging was safe guarded by this anti-theft device that wrapped itself around the four sides of the box (which I figured would be disarmed upon purchase.)

Got home, found a knife and sliced through the wiring on the anti-theft mechanism. Immediately, a high-pitched security has been breached alarm sound rang through the house, piercing the walls, the doors, everything. I grabbed the alarm, now unattached from the TV box and ran for the kitchen sink, thinking, “this is a battery powered mechanism. If I short it out by getting it wet, it’ll stop.” So I placed the blaring anti-theft mechanism under the faucet, turned on the water and waited. Five seconds later, the noise dropped a few decibels, but continued. More water, a few more dropped decibels, I figured, “Hey, this is working.” Then I turned off the water and picked up the anti-theft mechanism. The move out of the faucet brought the sound back to its original state. Another plan was needed. The house shook like a fire department in the heat of an emergency, the sound of the anti-theft mechanism ringing through each wall.

Mind you, we live in an apartment building. This alarm noise was surely already attracting people to our door. So I grabbed some old t-shirts and wrapped them tightly around the anti-theft mechanism, slightly muffling the sound. Then I threw on my jacket, frantically put the t-shirt wrapped anti-theft mechanism under my jacket, grabbed my bike and headed out into the night. My preliminary plan was simple; find a dumpster, throw that thing in there, get the hell out of the area. Mind you, this is for an anti-theft mechanism on a TV which I purchased.

So I get out on the streets. And for some reason, it’s the most crowded it’s ever been on the streets near my house. And here I am, pedaling down the street with a muffled secuirity alarm sound emanating from my pants. If I was a passerby, I would’ve immediately thought “Suicide bomber.” Luckily, no one did much past staring at me puzzled beyond belief.

I race down the street to the one known dumpster in the area. Of course, it’s gone. Then I remember another; it’s surrounded by construction workers. Then I hightail it to an empty street nearby, spy an abandoned trash can in front of a house for rent, grab the deafening anti-theft mechanism out from under my jacket and chuck it into the trash can. In a few minutes, I’m home to a quiet apartment building, hoping no one is in the hallway wondering what the alarm noise was about.

Mind you, the entire episode detailed above took place in no more than 8 minutes. But I just know, somewhere out there tonight, the police are searching for the person that stole a TV from Target, then dumped the breached anti-theft mechanism in a trash can not far from my house. Either that, or they cleared a whole block of people under the guise of a bomb scare. All for me trying to get rid of the anti-theft mechanism that adorned the 13″ TV/DVD combo I just purchased…

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