EPISODE 284: THE BLOGGER
Elaine begins dating a man named Steve Phan that has a blog. After the second date, a co-worker of Elaine’s tells her at work that she read about her date last night on Steve’s blog, affectionately dubbed ‘Phan-Male.’ When Elaine reads the blog, she discovers that Steve suspects she might be on Paxil or some other anti-depressant. Irate, Elaine confronts Steve about his blogging tendencies and asks him to keep their relationship and his suspicions off of the Internet. Jim responds by blogging about the confrontation between them, writing that “Elaine expects me to keep our relationship behind closed doors.” Elaine retaliates by hacking into his blog and outing Jim as a homosexual, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Meanwhile, George gets some poor seller feedback after selling Yankees memorabilia on Amazon, and attempts to find the person that left the poor feedback. “I got to the post office late. My poor sister, she’s dying,” he e-mails the Amazon customer.
Jerry dates a woman that watches American Idol, and they eventually break up because Jerry refuses to watch the program with her. “Because it’s so stupid,” rationalizes Jerry.
Kramer aspires to join a yoga class, but is not allowed to participate after refusing to change into more comfortable clothing. “I don’t wanna wear sweat pants Jerry,” he later says.
EPISODE 285: THE CELL PHONE SNUBBER
George has problems with his boss, who will not acknowledge George while he is on his cell phone in the office.
“He’s a cell phone snubber,” laments George to Jerry.
“I hate the snub. It’s incorrigible,” responds Jerry.
“See Jerry, you understand me. If someone’s on a cell phone in public, then why should I pretend like I can’t bother them?” says George.
“It’s our domain, we will never bow to the phone!” finishes Jerry.
Feeling inadequate, George implants a cell-phone jammer in the office, and no one’s cell phones work in the office anymore. This backfires when George’s mother slips on her way to Starbucks, and needs to go to the hospital for a back problem. “Georgie, why don’t you pick up your cell phone when I call you?” she says from the hospital bed later on in the show.
Meanwhile, Elaine’s boss at work is accused of insider trading, and she is fired as a result of re-budgeting.
Kramer and Newman become obsessed with a scheme to sell homemade sausages over the Internet, www.kramericasausages.com eventually fails when the sausages become spoiled, due to the U.S. Post Office taking too long to deliver the sausages to the customers.
EPISODE 286: JET BLUES
Jerry’s Jet Blue flight to Buffalo, for a standup comedy gig, is stuck on the tarmac of JFK for ten hours. Jerry misses the show, and instead rents a car to drive to Buffalo later that day. He is given a PT Cruiser by the car rental agency. The PT Cruiser breaks down one hour outside of New York City, and Kramer drives up to rescue Jerry. On the return to New York City, Kramer must stop to pick up some bootleg Fendi bags from his friend Bob Sacamano. Jerry, afraid to be involved in a bootlegging operation, calls George on his cell phone to come pick him up. George fails to receive the call because he is at his office and the cell phone jammer from the previous episode is still operating. Enraged, Jerry hails a cab home, and eventually ends up sharing it with a plain-clothed Jet Blue pilot. Jerry dispels his tale of Jet Blue ruining his weekend, and is in turn unofficially blacklisted from further Jet Blue flights. “I don’t need to see Waterworld on the flight. You think I care about Kevin Costner with gills. I need to get to Buffalo,” he later tells Jet Blue’s Customer Service.
Meanwhile, George takes suit with Amazon, when he receives an e-mail from Amazon recommending that he would probably be interested in purchasing the DVD of the movie ‘Breakfast At Tiffany’s.’ “What, they don’t think I could get through the book? They want me to watch the movie instead,” he yells to Jerry.
The Nuva Ring is taken off the market, and Elaine must decide whether her current boyfriend is “Ringworthy.”
EPISODE 287: THE COUCH
Jerry and Elaine eat at a bistro owned by a mutual friend named Poppy and begin discussing Iraq. Jerry and Elaine both agree that the U.S. should begin to remove troops from the country. When they ask Poppy his feelings about the war, he tells them that he is for the war in Iraq. Elaine forces Jerry to leave the restaurant before their meal is eaten.
Meanwhile, Kramer is supposed to go into business with Poppy, opening a restaurant in which customers create their own “wrap” sandwiches. Poppy eventually comes to Jerry’s apartment to be paid for the meal that him and Elaine stormed out on. Poppy sits on Jerry’s Ikea couch and relieves himself while Jerry gathers the money owed to him. “Poppy peed on my couch!” Jerry screams.
George eventually takes the couch with the pee stain for his apartment. And Kramer and Poppy have a falling out over whether to keep cheese on the wrap sandwich menu or to pull it off the menu. Elaine in turn ends up breaking up with her perfect boyfriend, who also supports the war in Iraq.
EPISODE 288: THE JUNK E-MAIL
Kramer shuts down his Hotmail account because he refuses to receive junk e-mail anymore. He is eventually captured by goons at Microsoft and confronted by Bill Gates. “I take my job pretty damn serious,” he tells Kramer. “Now we’ve got a big pile of spam waiting for you with your name on it. You wanna go get it?” he finishes.
Jerry gives his father an iPod, and his father is in turn accused of stealing from the condo association when the other residents of his neighborhood see him walking to the early bird special with his 80 gig iPod.
Elaine refuses to call her friend Noreen anymore because her boyfriend, whom always answers the phone, is a long talker and Elaine does not have enough minutes on her cell phone to talk to him each time she calls.
George begins dating a woman with whom he begins to encounter erectile dysfunction, Kramer urges him to get Viagra, but George’s insurance won’t cover it. Too cheap to simply pay for the doctor visit, he mailorders the drug from Canada, but is caught by Newman, who delivers the package to him at work.