Star Wars (Still?)

Today I met a man that purchased a scale-to-life Stormtrooper outfit for $600, and then sold it for $3000 on the Internet. He bought a car with the profits and said goodbye to the life and times of himself as a T-47 (or whatever pretend Stormtroopers tend to call themselves). He sure knew his Star Wars though. He even knew that there was a Star Wars porn spoof made in the mid 80s called ‘Star Whores.’ Princess Leia’s name apparently stayed the same for the porn spoof, but the spelling was changed to phonetically reflect the irony of her already porn-friendly name (Lay-uh!). But…. he hated my ‘Hand Solo,’ ‘Spewbacca,’ and ‘Grand Muff Tarkin’ jokes.
And… he went so far as to argue over the fact that it was OK for Star Destroyers to dump their garbage into space while the Death Star needed to compact and gingerly care for the disposal of their garbage.
This was the most stimulating conversation of my day, one day after the official “most depressing day of the year.” And you came here looking for some light hearted banter….. (Sorry about that)

Making the Jump

Hey, check this out. I noticed a new trend. Well, not new, but a trend nonetheless. I’m sure I’m not the first and I’m sure I’m not the last to notice it. I’m just noting that I noticed it. But I’ll let the semantics rest and just let it blurt instead of discussing who said what first and where.

Here’s the deal: forms of communication first used as nouns in the English language later develop into verbs.

Here’s what I mean: I’ve fallen in love with text messaging, so I do it all the time. At first, to describe the fact that I had sent someone a text message, I would say, “I sent you a text message.” But this quickly turned into, “I text messaged you,” which recently has become abbreviated to, “Well, I texted you mom. If you don’t know how to check it, that’s your problem!”

See, the technology of sending a text message has now become an act, which translates into verbiage minus the actual verb of “sending.” The form of communication became the actual verb.

This trend also applies to website use, another form of communication technology. Google and Myspace are websites first and foremost, but recently, the names of these websites have made the jump from noun to verb.

These days, “To google” someone means to search for them on the Internet, and the same can be said for Myspace. “She myspaced me” simply means that the person performing the act either found you or sent you a message through the Myspace website.

Think I’m crazy yet? Well, let’s take a few steps backward and look at phones, fax machines, email and CD burners; all forms of communication technology which later made the jump from noun to verb.

There may have been a time when “I phoned you” seemed like a radical use of the English language, but I wasn’t around to witness it. I was around for “I faxed it to you,” “I emailed it over,” and “I burned a porn soundtrack for us,” but I didn’t give a fuck til now to care about it. But they inevitably are all forms of communication technology that made the jump from noun to verb.

See, I’m not that crazy, just immensely bored and all too eager to over-analyze use of the English language. I just need to figure out a way to get paid to do that kind of crap….

Predictable beginning of year entry…

TEN RECORDS THAT I LIKED THIS YEAR, (or 9 that I liked along with some other albums that came out before 2005…)

These are in no particular order. Particular order doesn’t really matter right now.

It’s strange to look back and remember what emotional states I’ve been in while I was into certain records. When Paint It Black’s ‘Paradise’ arrived on my doorstep in early spring of 2005, I was angry as fuck, and I needed some understanding sorely. I was broke, I was working a job I hated to get by, I hated where I was and I wasn’t spending any time doing the things that make myself who I am. My answer to the dilemma was to listen to a 20-minute long record that mirrored my emotions. ‘Paradise’ may have been more political than what I was feeling at the time, but the anger, confusion and displacement were spot on with me. I don’t have a favorite song or anything, but ‘Paradise’ as a whole did re-instill my faith in passionate, pissed hardcore music. Thank you Dr. Dan!

THE NATIONAL ‘Alligator’
I don’t actually know why I like this record so much. It’s not crazy original or blazing any new trails, but they do what they do unbelievably. And what they do is write pop music that’s uncomfortable in its own skin. The National are judgmental, sarcastic and self-defeating, and their music is a unique mix of latter-day Sebadoh, the quieter moments of the Pixies, and something that’s now officially going to be known as succinctly National. (Well, not officially, but they have a way of doing things their own way….)
The vocalist’s voice reminds me of the guy from Crash Test Dummies at times, but I’ve had an intervention with myself to not let that aspect affect how much I really like this record….

PICASTRO ‘Metal Cares’
One of the most unexpectedly somber records I got to know this year. I got it in September, following the anger, confusion and general dirt mood I had been feeling most of the summer. It basically said to me, “Take a deep breath, relax and live damn it, live.” So I did. Because of some haunting, brooding chamber pop. I never said my brain was normal…..

STARS ‘Set Yourself on Fire’
A record about breaking up and falling in love that immediately transports me back to the early 90s Teen Beat/Simple Machines/Small Factory school of indie rock. The production is turned up a hell of of lot and some of the songs are blatantly cheesy, but the gems more than make up for the clunkers. “When there’s nothing left to burn, you hafta set yourself on fire.” How true old man, how true.

Predictable selection, I know. Once again, it got me through a place that I now refer to as “a rock and a hard hole.” It made sense at the time. Really…

MEDICATIONS ‘Your Favorite People All in One Place’
So there’s two trains of thought in the anger school: straight up and subversive. After the in-your-face-ness of Paint It Black, I needed something a little more analytical to get me mad throughout most of the summer. Then Devin O’Campo and the Medications camp drops their first full length and my summer quandary is solved. I listened to this record every fucking day for two months. It’s frantic and technical and rocking and not easily digestible upon first listen. I’ve kinda thought about the Medications formula a lot over the past few months, and here’s what I’ve deduced: the band is comprised of three incredible musicians who equally compliment each other instead of overshadowing each other. Middle-aged symbiosis, trying to make sense of the world without tearing it apart in the process….

A record written completely about one premise; hope ultimately ending in disaster. Can someone say “Yeah, like hello, 2005…” for me? Anger, disappointment, displacement, running followed by more running, and then this record in late November. At the point when I got this record, I was entering the calm after the storm, and it felt good to reach the disaster part of each song and ultimately know that everything would inevitably be ok….

(In my best stoner voice) Cause it’s fucking loud!

BELLE AND SEBASTIAN ‘Push Barman to Open Old Wounds’
Not fair technically, since it’s a ‘best of’ collection of sorts written way before ’05, but man if it didn’t get me out of the house this summer, and then onwards into exploring the back alleys of Glasgow this past fall. ‘A Century of Elvis’ may be the best human/cat interaction song since ‘Please From A Cat Named Virtue’ from The Weakerthans. Call me a sucker, but human/cat dialogue gets me every time…

And #10: the option to say that I liked and re-introduced myself to a lot of records released prior to 2005, including Centro-Matic, The Notwist, Vague Angels, Harkonen, Minus The Bear, The Headlights, Nedelle, Walking Concert, Lungfish, Owen, etc….