I ORDERED ONION RINGS AND RAISIN TOAST WITH A FAUX FRENCH ACCENT

Bob: “So what did you learn from your roadtrip?”

Tim: “Was there supposed to be some moralistic ending to my vacation?”

Bob: “Not at all, I just know that you wouldn’t drive around aimlessly for ten days because you wanted to take a break from life…”

Tim: “Well, I suppose you’re right, only I didn’t realize it upon leaving. I needed to take the time away to re-evaluate what I want to do with my life.”

Bob: “Which is?”

Tim: “What I’ve always been doing. This right now. This is me, and before I left, I thought I needed something else. It turned out I was probably just smothering the very essence of my living because I was overworked the past few months…”

Bob: “See, so you did learn something about yourself…”

Tim: “Of course I did. I also learned why Bush was reelected president…”

Bob: “Why’s that?”

Tim: “Because even the blue states, the states that voted for Kerry, they’re full of rednecks that buy into all the nationalistic bullshit that started after 9/11….”

Bob: “Even the cities?”

Tim: “Well of course not. But the truck stops, and the roadways and the little slices of daily Americana, it’s all rednecks. Urban existence isn’t the norm for America. It’s very isolated in relation to the rest of the U.S.”

Bob: “So you’re saying that the U.S. isn’t as free thinking as we’re led to believe, even in the progressive states?”

Tim: “Definitely. I stopped at a truck stop in Connecticut, which is technically commuting distance from New York, and there was a sign on the wall that read ‘Support Our Troops, Let’s Roll Baby!’ It was horrifying. I could expect something like that in Iowa you know, but seeing that kind of thinking in a progressive state so close to New York City was pretty surprising…”

Bob: “I’ll say.”

Tim: “And the truck stop’s menu featured freedom toast and freedom fries!”

Bob: “Ouch, that does hurt.”

Tim: “It didn’t really. I ordered onion rings and raisin toast with a faux French accent….”

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